Obsessively Good Enough: Day 4

I am starting the new year with a totally different outlook. It's strange really. I can honestly say that 2017 was the hardest year of my life and yet, it was the most amazing life changing year. I am so glad that God decided to try me. If He hadn't, I'm afraid I would still be in the rut I was in. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely! All I have to do is look at the 10 lbs I gained from slacking on my eating habits to see I did not live a perfect year. But, for the first time, I'm not beating myself up over it. I weighed myself today. I saw the 10lbs and I DIDN'T cry. I didn't feel sick. I didn't want to yell at myself and punish myself for being so stupid. I saw the number on the scale and I accepted it as a couple of months of not being disciplined. I saw it as an opportunity to make up for it. I saw it as a chance to pray and thank God for this lesson learned. For the first time, I was ok with the fact that I made a mistake.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't use it as an excuse to say that I'm saved I can do whatever I want and get away with it. But, I did see that moment as a way to reflect on consequences. Eating junk the past couple of months does not mean that Jesus loves me less. But, it also doesn't mean I can make bad decisions without consequences. No, there are definitely consequences to every decision I make. And I'm reaping those consequences as I try to button my pants. But, the beauty of it all is God still loves me. He sees me and wraps His arms around me. He still adores me. Honestly, I don't get it. But, He does. Beautiful!

I read 1 Timothy 4 this morning and it was the PERFECT passage for me at this moment. Funny how that works..... Verses 12-16 hit the hardest.

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spiritn, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Neglect no the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of presbytery. Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.

Be an example. It's that simple. My choices not only affect me. They affect those around me. My decision to live a healthier life reflects my body but also the people around me. People are watching hoping I succeed but also checking to see if I fail. I'm here to tell you that I did fail and I will continue to fail. BUT, God!!! I love that. God never fails. He will pick me up. Dust me off and we will continue on this journey together. I want people to look at me and see Jesus. I want them to see Victory in my life and know that it directly reflects what Jesus has done through me. I want them to see my health journey as success because I chose to let Jesus take the reigns. When people look at me, I want them to see what it means to live a life with Christ. 

I'm grateful for my failures. I now see them as another example of what God did for me. I see it as an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow. Today is a good day.